Trouble Letting Go? The Root is in the Resistance

Do you need to let go of something, but find yourself resisting it? Maybe it’s something really big, like a relationship or a job or living situation. Maybe it’s something less tangible, like an idea, a project or a timeline.

Here’s a small example from my own life: about 4 months ago I had the inspired idea to finally begin constructing my virtual membership site called the “Self Love Club”, something I am very excited to be able to offer.

Part of my human design as a manifesting generator is to move very quickly at times and to often skip steps, which in some cases requires me to go back and address steps that I skipped or deconstruct something I made very quickly.  As I came back to add the finishing touches to this project I realized that I hadn’t used the best platform for what I really wanted.

I had set something up that would likely serve me in the short term, but ultimately would need to be redone in the near future in order to scale to the vision I had for it.

It hit me that all the work I’d put in so far had to be deconstructed and I basically had to start all over before I could launch it.  Ensue inner turmoil and some heavy sighs…maybe a few swear words… 

I had to let go of the old one, and embrace the new version. But I didn’t easily let it go. I resisted it for a bit. This caused me frustration, overwhelm, anxiety and eventually a mini meltdown of grief.

It triggered all of my negative stories about how I wasn’t good enough, I was behind where I should be, and furthermore since I’m feeling this way how can I possibly be worthy of helping others as a coach and breathwork facilitator…talk about a negative spiral. 

Isn’t it interesting how we can have such big feelings over something so small. There is an explanation for this. I believe the feelings are actually an echo of a past trauma that is calling for integration and healing. 

If you find yourself having trouble letting go of something that you know is no longer in alignment with what you desire, consider that the resistance represents something deeper within that needs to be addressed.

Perhaps it’s a part of you that holds a negative belief about losing that thing/person/situation; or maybe it’s a deep inner child wound that is using this present scenario to call your attention to its unmet needs. Either way, some inner exploration is called for. 

What works for me is a combo of somatic practices such as breathwork and vocal expression in addition to inner child work, which I normally need external support for. 

I like to use something called “The Completion Process” by Teal Swan for deep inner child work and integration, but I’ve also had other methods presented to me by various therapists and my life coach.

Everything helps. 

My encouragement to you is to see your resistance as an opportunity for healing and personal growth rather than as an internal enemy or curse.  Sure, its uncomfortable, but even worse is staying stuck and having to feel that pain again and again until you finally turn toward it and address the root cause.

The reality is there will always be things we need to let go of in life, and we have the capacity to build resiliency and utilize various tools and resources to help us do so. 

So, what have you had trouble letting go of lately?  Which tools have you tried that have worked for you in the past? And which methods or tools are you still interested in exploring?